Saturday, June 11, 2011

I Would've Been a Mommy Again Today...

Amidst the excitement surround Baby Morgan and his/her arrival in November, my heart still aches for the sweet babies we "lost" last year.  I say "lost" because something is not lost if you know where it is (thanks Jessica and CHM for that reminder last night!) - my sweet babies are in heaven waiting on us to join them there.

Today, June 11th, our sweet baby girl June was due to be born.  Just as a quick reminder, June was our second "lost" baby.  I went for a checkup at 11 weeks and we discovered she had passed away; I had surgery the day before Thanksgiving.  It was almost two months before we found out what happened to our sweet baby - she suffered from Turner Syndrome, which is usually fatal before birth.  She is still perfect in our eyes and we miss her every day.  **For June's story, click here.** 

I think one of the hardest things for me is seeing others that I was pregnant with having their babies now and thinking - that should be me.  I will not deny that carrying Morgan has helped me deal with the grief of our two angels, but he/she in no way replaces our sweet babies, so these are still emotions I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Samantha is well aware that she has two siblings in heaven, as she told the nurse at her pediatrician's office the other day:  "My mommy had two babies in her tummy, but they got sick, and they are in Heaven."  Yes ma'am, they sure are :) 

So, happy birthday in Heaven to our sweet baby girl, June.  Mommy, Daddy, and big sister Samantha miss you and can't wait to see you again!!