Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What I want for Christmas...

Well, here it is, December 8th.  I know you are probably quite proud that it hasn't been two weeks since my last post :)  I'm sure you are also probably wondering how I am doing since my last post...

My answer:

"About as good as can be expected."

Do I still cry sometimes?  Yes.  Do I still get angry and sad sometimes?  Yes.  Am I ready for answers?  HECK yes.  Do we have the answers yet?  Sadly, no, we are still waiting on the results of the genetic testing to come back.  We will probably have them in the next 2-3 weeks.  Do I sometimes get insanely jealous of my friends that are still pregnant and want to crawl in a hole rather than talk to them?  <You want the truth here right?>  Yes.  I still love you all, but sometimes seeing your pregnant bellies or reading about how your pregnancies are going makes me want to vomit.  But, I still love you all and I'm still really excited for you.  I hope you know I'll come around more in time.

So that's how I'm doing.  It also occurred to me as I heard the DJ on the radio announce this morning that I have 16 shopping days left until Christmas.  CRAP!  We have started but we are nowhere NEAR finished.  And none of it is wrapped.  I'm hoping to make a significant dent in the shopping and wrapping over the weekend.  Christmas has kinda snuck up on us this year, truth be told, with everything going on.  We did put up our Christmas tree and other decorations at the house this past weekend so we're trying to get more in the spirit.  AND, we did take Samantha to have breakfast with Santa this past Saturday (special thanks to my boss and her family for that!).  Get a good look at THIS winter princess-

She told Santa that she wanted 5 Christmas dollies, aka Barbies.  The child has ENOUGH Barbies so I told the fat man in the red suit that Barbie accessories would suffice this year :)

Another annoying question I am getting these days is "What do YOU want for Christmas?"

Gosh, I have no freakin' clue.  So I thought I'd start a list here with things that, if I could have anything, I would want for Christmas.

1.  World peace (doesn't EVERYONE though?)
2.  No more debt (again, doesn't everyone?)
3.  For Owen to succeed in his new job so we can work on #2 and start saving up for college for the kiddies
4.  Speaking of the kiddies...and I know I shouldn't ask for impossible things, but all I REALLY want is to have my two angel babies back.  I know that this cannot happen, so if I have to change my wish to something more realistic I would make it this-that A:  we get the answers we need to have a successful pregnancy next try, and B:  that less mothers had to suffer the pain of losing a child, because this time of year it's especially hard.

There Santa, put that in my stocking this year :)

And, if you really want to give me something tangible, I'll take a Wii Fit, since I have almost 20lb of baby weight and no babies.


  1. After I miscarried, the sight of other pregnant women made me absolutely shudder. I couldn't look at them, be around them, or even know they were close by. I didn't want to hear anything about their pregnancies. I didn't want to see their pictures. It's ok to feel that way. I hate that something I might say or a picture I might post hurts's ok if you can't read or look. I know it's not personal. You have to protect yourself right now.

    Thinking of you...always thinking of you.

  2. Thanks Brittany :) I still love to read about you and see your practically non-existant pregnant belly!