Thursday, December 30, 2010

Resolutions for 2011

I know some people say they don't believe in resolutions, or that they don't make resolutions because they never stick with them...but I am generally not one of those people.  My list this year is small, but each one is important.  Here it is:

1.  Get "healthy" again

You'll note I didn't say "lose weight" or "watch what I eat more carefully."  Because it's much more than that.  Prior to both miscarriages I considered myself a healthy person.   I exercised frequently, ate healthy...but I will admit that I turned to food to comfort me after losing the first baby and I'd barely had a chance to get back into my exercise routine before we became pregnant again and I was put on pelvic rest.  After losing the second baby and with the holidays I'm sure I've eaten my fair share of sweets and exercise has not become a priority again.  I am still restricted to low/no impact exercise as we are still trying to determine the reasons behind my recurrent pregnancy losses, but I'll be honest-I tried to do a Biggest Loser exercise video last week and about DIED.  It's amazing how quickly I lost my stamina and muscle strength.  My hips are still wide, my stomach is still flabby, and now my once toned arms and legs are getting flabby right along with them.  I am resolving to get back on a regular exercise routine (even if that means getting up early in the morning and doing 30 minutes on my elliptical before work) and try to cook healthier meals and keep better food choices available in our house.  Owen is hoping to shed some pounds also so I'm sure he'll appreciate and support my efforts.  And Samantha will eat better, so who doesn't benefit from this resolution??  Exactly :)

2.  Don't put off for tomorrow what I can get done today.

I'll be the first to admit that I'd rather leave the dirty dishes and the laundry until tomorrow so I can sit down and watch a TV show.  But I'm tired of my house looking like an absolute mess.  As part of this resolution, I plan to make all 3 of us work on keeping up with daily chores around the house and keeping it neat and picked up.  Samantha is getting old enough to help with some of the chores.  For example-last night Owen let the dogs out and when they came back in they tracked some mud onto the kitchen floor.  Samantha LOVES to use the Swiffer mop, so I put a wet sheet on it and had her go to it.  She actually did a pretty good job and she was EXTREMELY proud of herself.  Not to mention that it kept her doing something, rather than just sitting on the couch watching television.  I had her do the entry way just for good measure!  Another perk to resolution #1 is that if I get up in the morning to exercise, I will have more time in the evenings after work to work on resolution #2. 

3.  Get back to church.

We are members of Advent Presbyterian in Arlington and have really enjoyed going to church there.  We went on a regular basis up until miscarriage #1, which started on a weekend and then the next weekend we were out of town, and well...you can see how this went.  The church was there for us after we lost the first baby; our pastor even came to the house to talk with us and share a prayer for our lost angel.  But we let other things take priority and then after miscarriage #2, Owen and I (but especially Owen) began to lose our faith a little bit.  And I hate to say that, but you can probably understand how that could easily happen.  We were hurt, sad, angry, confused...didn't understand why God would let us hurt so much all over again.  We are still waiting on the answers to all our questions but both of us know that we need to reaffirm our faith and put church back in its place on the priority list. 

And lastly-

4.  Bring a healthy baby into our family

This last one might be a bit out of our control.  We are still awaiting the results of the genetic testing from our last miscarriage; it has now been 5 weeks.  We were told to wait until we had those results back before we started to try again, which only makes sense because we need to know what we are dealing with first.  Obviously, one miscarriage is more common than multiple losses and if the genetic testing does not show anything genetically wrong with the baby then I will probably be tested for other issues, like a clotting disorder or hormone disorder, the list goes on.  Who knows if I'll be sent to specialists or what, but it's something we're going to go through with because we've decided that we want another child in our lives.  Thankfully, we did receive the good news last week that my insurance paid for the genetic testing in full, which was our Christmas blessing since it was around $3000 total.  Hopefully we'll get those results any day and we can move forward with plans to grow our family.

So, that's it.  A small list but each item is important in its own way.  2010 has brought a lot of good times with laughter and smiles, but also quite a few sad times with sorrow and tears.  I'm ready to close the door on it and open it up to 2011, which will hopefully bring many more good times than bad than this year has.

To all my friends, wishing you a happy, safe, and blessed 2011!!!!!